Saturday, 26 June 2010


I am utterly fearless, forgiven to the point of worship.

Nothing ever felt so good as your accelerating breaths down my neck, re-writing the notches of your spine in my own hand, this body is mine.

We made bonds out of curls of smoke and strings of guitar chords, and breaking that is like losing the will to live, but this b-movie has an epilogue and I’d love to believe you are in it.

You are my ten thousand leagues under the sea,

and everytime the monster wakes I crave falling for him all over again.

Risking my emotional stability for you is just plain instinct.

Saturday, 10 April 2010


After the rain comes absolution, a breather. Wherever you are, I still feel like I'm lying next to you. We're kissing under the black sky, as the world falls down around us. There was never any need to fix it. Let it run away with itself, down the drain, to the dogs. We can play catch in the yard, you can fight your demons from the comfort of the sofa, while I make jam in the kitchen. There's associations, yes. But there's always interior decoration. This love is fucking visceral.


Suddenly it's a game and we don't know when it ends. You're out in the barn, swinging from the rafters, and I shout for you to come inside and stop acting like a child, but it starts to rain and the rain gets heavier until I can't even see you, and you shout that it's too late and I can't help and maybe I should find another girl to tease and twist and eventually get bored of.

Thursday, 1 April 2010


I'm the copper-headed creature, creeping around the corners of your house. You finish school, hiding bitemarks, little wounds of which you think maybe you're secretly proud. Fingers cross the piano, singing out "This is real love, this is real". Hospital beeps, light pools on the floor after the mian lights swtich off. I'm watching you dreaming, breaths rise inside you, ideas swell and dissipate. The monsters are hungry. Did you forget where this goes ?
I'm creeping low to the floor, trying not to wake you. In the early hours I'm out in the fields, chasing banks of fog across the damp grass. Wings skim overhead, starting out early. I can picture you peering out of the curtains at the fresh light, in your night clothes, wondering what I'm doing so early. I want you to wonder. I want you to realise where we're headed.
Towards summer and winter and an empty in-between, moorland calling, north-wind blowing, trees sighing, clouds covering. There is no future, there is only my love dying in tomorrows cold snow or warm rain and you packing thick jumpers for your parents house in the north.
I wanted this, I did, honestly.
I'm copper clothed, the fox scratching his claws. Are you awake ? Are you screaming ? Are we even alive at all ?

* * *

The night hangs under trees, mist lies in banks in the fields on the edge of town, sunrise means you squinting from the train window. I face forward, you face backward. I struggle with the layers to this. We can sleep the day away, curtains drawn, the matress on the floor, the way you like.
Outside the tress will be escaping the winter as buds struggle upward and leaves unfurl. It will feel as though we've been away for so long. I guess home isn't really home anymore.

* * *

The wolves are playing in the garden, the local kids are singing out on the fields, you're snoring quietly and I'm fucking terrified..

Thursday, 25 March 2010

Into The Woods.

The woods are like drowning, without dying.
Like falling asleep but knowing you are falling asleep.
Like listening to the amplified sound of a harps echo.

I'm excited and yet a little unsettled at the idea I have for this final project..

Thursday, 4 March 2010

Stepping on your toes.

And you put on all your heaviest clothes,
and I'd be the river you're drowning in,
as old scars twist deep in the heart of me.

Tuesday, 16 February 2010

This my excavation.

I forgot the page I was on and now all the lines blur into one.
Forgive me. Please.
I'm a thought in a sea of lives and lovers.
While kisses bring me back to life, you send me under the waves.

Monday, 8 February 2010

If I only could, be running up that hill.

I am the future, I am the biting cold, I am the way you curl under your covers, I am your fear of the dark, I fight off your demons, I kiss your shoulder, I am the trees and the forest, I am the water and the river, I am the flood and the fever, I bite I touch I warn I flee, I call you names, I the king and then the soldiers, the spears and the guns and the shields and the cups of wine, gloves of steel, pockets of gold, the blades on the skates, the wind in the sails, the loss and the gain, the break in the sentence, the calm in the storm, I am scaling your trees, your walls, the factory works on, the heater gets hotter, the fire is out, and the cats are screaming, you are walking up my drive...

Wednesday, 20 January 2010

Lungful of glass.

A yellow bird, black fingernails, the twist of branches overhead, books of heavy stanzas, word laden passages, crash on the cliffs, the break of the waves, spray on the deck, the cat's on the table, fly out of the window, pick up the telephone, it's ringing and ringing and ringing and no one is answering.
The hiss of a kettle, smoke in the kitchen, when you burn the dinner I feel like you're trying to tell me something, "set me free." "say the word."
You were the cold toes, you were the warm socks, you brought the whiskey and the sleeping bag and you brought the shovel. I made up a bed in a room with no light, I figured maybe you'd feel like the light was your freedom, a victory, an oasis. I didn't want to give you false hope, my assurance that life would be waiting for you after you climbed out of the window into the trees and out out into the bright sunlight.
A moose shaking his head, a crow knocks snow out of the trees, a shutter clicks, the clouds cover the woods, this house sleeps on, into the night and day then the night again.

Tuesday, 5 January 2010

Your word was the word that always won.

He was singing to me,
From the foot of the bed, his eyes like stars in the dark.
The rain came down outside; a victory.
You feel the release of your heart from your body.
Does this make it easy ?
Are you forgiven ?

You can bite harder now.

We are all just trying to be holy.

And my saviour with your wet dreams inside my skin,
Your hands flash in a dark hotel room,
This body will split open for you.